Back, not quite from the dead.

Gosh. Been a while ain't it? How are you all? Um. Just thought I'd write a little entry here cos I used to love LJ and I'm hoping to rekindle my enthusiasm as I remember all the lovely things about it. It is a lovely place and full of all sorts of interesting things/people/pictures/communities that I have missed since being away.

What has been going on since I last posted? Lots. Good stuff, bad stuff, very bad stuff, interesting stuff. Lots of comedy. Working for comedians. Playing (music) with some of my all-time musical heros of the last couple of years. Getting treated like shit by men. Hobnobbing and working with celebs at close-quarters who I have found to be total arses. Or, less vitriolically, EXACTLY the same as us "plebs". Um. That's probably enough to be getting on with.

If you rememeber me, give us a comment to let me know i#m still loved here ;) *sob*

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Last Post on the Bugle

Last Post on the Bugle

Recently I have been listening to a lot of The Libertines again, a band that I had put at the back of my CD collection because I was so distraught at how it all turned out. Listening months later, i can appreciate what a magical collection of songs they created as a band and nothing can take that away. I am still saddened by the state of Carl and Pete's friendship but I hope and pray that they will be able to sort everything out in time. In the meantime, I've made a slideshow of my favourite pictures of Pete and Carl in happier (?!) times..... I think the professionals would call it cathartic.....

EDIT: Does anyone know how to post slideshows on blogs? I know it can be done cos i've seen it with my eyes but for some reason it's not letting me... will have to post my beautiful slide show on my profile

EDIT:EDIT: I give up.... go and have a look at it on my myspace profile page
dear daleks

And curse Sir Walter Raleigh, he was such a stupid GIT!


I am so tired. Actually, to say I am tired is one of the biggest understatements I have ever made. Total, absolute exhaustion comes closer but still miles off. Its a tiredness that you can really only feel if you are unwell. I dont mean this to sound patronising but, unless youve had a chronic illness, you REALLY cant understand what this feels like. I literally hurt with tiredness; everything aches, muscles that I didnt even know I had are screaming at me to go to bed, my eyes are agony and my head feels as if its about to explode. I feel sick, my stomach is cramping and I am being stabbed through the eyes by my sinuses. I feel dragged down into the floor with exhaustion, my brain is moving at a sluggish rate and its just taken me an hour to have a bath because my thought patterns and coordination just do not work properly. I feel almost like Im drunk- everything is swimming in front of me and its like Im having hallucinations. I should probably stop typing this because Im making lots of mistakes which, in my tired, pedantic mind, I HAVE to at least TRY and correct. I know that when I do climb into bed, I will not be able to sleep, I will toss and turn; my body will be exhausted but my brain will not let me switch off. My legs with start to twitch and cramp which will mean that I will be awake into the early hours of the morning.


Of course, the sad thing is, that I have done very little today. I went to the shops to get some food, and then read for a bit, wandered in the garden and played with my cat. Thats IT. Its not like I have been working all day or mountain climbing in the Andes or rescuing someone from a lake or anything at all strenuous. I cannot even remember what it feels like to NOT feel like this. I experience this every single minute of every single day and have done for the last 6 years. This is what having M.E. feels like. This is what I go through every day and, today, somebody said to me "ooh, yes, I know all about M.E., thats where you feel tired isnt it? Yes, I know what that feels like; Im tired all the time too." And I have to smile sweetly and resist the urge to pummel them to the ground with my bare fists. After all, that would take a lot of energy that I dont actually have to waste! And then I will wake up tomorrow and it will all start all over again.

Edit: i've realised that this sounds like a self-indulgent, sympathy-seeking post and it's REALLY not meant to be! I just decided to write a cold, analytical blog about how i physically feel so that people might be able to have some sort of understanding of M.E..... I'm actually feeling emotionally quite upbeat! So, yeah, not looking for sympathy, just for people to have a read and comment if they want!!

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(no subject)

It's my birthday!!
As it is now 1.00 am- and the question that most of you won't be asking is why am i not in bed?- it is OFFICIALLY my birthday! Hurrah. I am now 24 years of age. Actually, i'm not, as the official time of my birth was 3.23 in the afternoon. So i have a few more hours of reckless youth to enjoy. After that, it is the start of the downward spiral into wrinkles, tea drinking and knitting. somebody save me...

I intend to spend my day locked in my bedroom, cocooned in my duvet with a vat of wine and a ton of chocolate bemoaning my slide into old age. then i'm off for a posh curry avec mon famille. joy and rapture.

Tiffany jewellery, Laduree macaroons, condolences and johnny depp would be very gratefully received, thanks in advance.


(no subject)

i'm devastated. i can't believe that Green Wing has ended like it has. i'm literally in floods of tears. and this isn't comedy shock, this is the genuine article,; i'm shaking and i feel ill. WTF was that all about? There are so many things that i have to say about the episode but i just can't....... form... sentence..... i just......

it was a great episode but i hated it. i'm utterly shell-shocked and very very upset. And i'm not feeling too well disposed to Caroline or Guy at this point in time.

i'll try and get it together and actually write later...

i need HUGS people...
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(no subject)

Well, for me, the best thing about Big Brother, so far, are the mobile phone sponser adverts before and after the advert breaks- with tthe little mobile and his mini-suitcase!!! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! I want one....

UPDATE: Russell Brand is going out with Kate Moss. There is no justice in this world. It seems that she just gets whatever she wants. How the hell do i compete with her?!!!!!! humph.
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    calm calm

(no subject)

I am sick of journos describing Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman's 2 kids as "adopted"... yeah, so they ARE adopted, but they are also, just their kids..... why make the distinction? when somebody adopts children, they become parents in every way; they ARE the parents of that child.

The reason this is in my head today is because i just read some tabloid (yeah yeah) article about Tom and Katie-i'm-still-a-little-girl Holme's new baby. When writing about it, the journalist wrote something along the lines of  "This is Tom and Katie's first child; Tom has 2 adopted children with Nicole Kidman but no natural children of his own...."

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..... and Tom keeps going on about how magical it was to be at the birth of his child, something that he has never experienced before. All i can do is feel sorry for Connor and Isabella (his and nicole's kids).

Being adopted myself, i do feel very hurt when people are so scathing of adoption. When my parents found out that my brother was blind and autistic when he was 6months old, somebody said to my mum, "well, at least he's not your real child" as if that made it ok. Yet another bright spark asked her is she was "going to give him back" like had she kept the fucking receipt?!

As far as i'm concerned, my mum and dad are my mum and dad, i have no desire to meet my birth parents. i don't feel any anger or resentment towards them either- they did what they had to do; they were only 16 at the time after all. I don't really think about them at all to be honest, and i certainly don't feel traumatised or blame anything on my being adopted. My birth parents did the best thing ever when they gave me up- they gave me 2 parents whom i love to bits and who have given me the best life they possibly could. i thank my natural parents for that, and for not going for the "easier" option of abortion. i've met several other adopted children and they seem to htink that they can blame everything that goes wrong in their lives on the fact that they are adopted; GROW UP! Ok, so maybe i'm lucky that i have my parents but still....

Hum. Ranting now aren't i? i guess i'm so protective of my parents and when i read shit like that article... it just makes me so sad and angry.

Sorry for being boring. it's just something i feel strongly about

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(no subject)

I've gone totally Green Wing obssessed!! It's been a while since i've got so involved with a tv program... Friday is the best day of the week.... at 9pm to be precise!! i'm sure i've got lots ot write on here but, for now i'll just post the 70+ icons i've made...... *gasp*

I've used various brushes by haydens__hunnie , neke , crystalkirk charmingjen and textures by hermyonegranger _atomic_cherry lil_brokenangel Hope i haven't forgotten anybody... if i have, just let me know.....

some caps by me and some by emily200289 - thanks matey :D
Obviously cut for spoilers.... a few from Episodes 2, 3 & 4 but mostly Ep 5.... oh, and i random icon of Julian Rhind-Tutt from The Rotter's Club....

Hope you enjoy- please comment, take and credit- i love seeing people using my icons!!!

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